jan 27, 2012

UGH today is going to be a sucky ass day, I wake up last night to check my bank statement to see how much my check was and it was SUPER tiny because my stupid boss forgot to add on my vacation so I literally only have $16 to myself after all the rent and payments are made, I’m soo mad I thought this check was going to be good, and I have NO food left for me too eat so I guess I’ll just starve till the first, ON TOP of that I haven’t done my homework which is due Monday night because Ive been working every fucking day this week and I needed a day off to be able to go to the library and do the shit, Its RAINING, I feel fat and lazy and unmotivated and I just want to jump off a fucking BRIDGE right now! Today better not suck.

jan-26-2012

Morning bloggers! Today was a good day I woke up around 7 and got my daughter fed and situated, then I headed to the gym where I did 10 mins on the elliptical 5 mins on the tread and 40 mins weight lifting, Im pretty sore already and it usually doesn’t happen till the next day, but whatever I LIKE THE BURN!!! So I had an interesting talk with one of my co workers who is going to school to be a doctor and I told him that I have lost ten pounds since the beginning of January and he said it was dangerous that, that happened. This kind of upset me because I don’t know how much weight my body is going to lose, I just do the work and see what happens. To hear that its dangerous makes me mad because he said if I were to break my diet even a little I could gain a significant amount of the weight back so I’m just like WTF?? Is there anything you can do right when trying to lose weight, Ive cut out sweets, I’ve cut out sugar, I haven’t had a sweet tea in almost a month, I haven’t had fried foods in almost a month, I work out at least 5 times a week, I don’t want my body to think its in starvation mode but It practically is because I don’t eat as much as I used too. But to think If I were to eat like a french fry I could gain all the weight back makes me so angry!! Weight loss has so many rules its just like lose this in a month, don’t lose a lot in a month its bad. I DON’T GET IT!! I just want to be healthy and lose weight and I think all the sacrifices I have made this far are really helping me. so who cares if I lost too much this first month I don’t plan on cheating on my diet anytime soon.

ugh.

My body is still so sore, but I want to get on the treadmill. But even though I probably won’t workout today tomorrow I plan on going to the gym and doing strength training. In other news, I just made my boyfriend a bacon cheeseburger and fries and it too EVERYTHING in me not to grab a fry! I didn’t do it that’s how I know I’m stronger!! ok well 25 days in the making, 11 pounds down. LETS DO THIS!

jan-25-2012!

HELLLOO WORLD!! OMG I’m so excited, I had a dream last night that I reached 174 and then I reached 168 and actually started crying (in my dream) That’s probably going to actually happen when I reach 168. Anyway I was curious so I got on the scale to see how much I weighed even though I promised I wouldn’t look until Sunday but I got on and it said 174.2!!!! I am almost at my first GW which is 173! that would be 12 pounds lost in the month of January alone! I am this much closer to my second goal weight. once I reach 173 ill only have 5 pounds till 168!! It has been such a hard month but I lost 11 pounds and I’m so proud of myself. If I can do this anyone can do it, I think when I get to the 160’s Ill do my first before and after pics. Also I’m still super sore from yesterdays workout but I have to go to my muay thai class because I have to do two a week. Have a good rest of the week everyone :)

jan-24-2012

Hello World! So this week has been fat week for me, NO not because I cheated on eating, but just because I have been FEELING fat for the past two days, so as you know on Sunday I did an hour of weight training. Yesterday I was sore. So I didn’t work out yesterday. I felt fat all day and I felt like a failure and I just wanted to go get a big mac but I DIDN’T I don’t know why I’m so hard on myself when I miss a day, I think I just feel lf I miss a day I’m going to stop completely but NOPE 24 days and going strong! 7 days from now it will be the last day of January and I can hopefully say I have been doing well on my diet for a whole MONTH I can’t wait to be able to say that :) Anyway I ran 3 miles today WHOOP WHOOP! So I feel better now, I don’t feel like a fat failure and even though I’m not seeing the results I want too, and I feel like I won’t see them for another 2 months, I’m not going to give up and neither should any of you. Have a good day everyone!

things I havent had in 23 days that I used to have on a regular basis.

* sweet tea

* king size bag of peanut m&m’s

* marble loaf

* birthday cake pop

* mcdonalds

*whopper

*snickers

*mountain dew

*chocolate chip cookies

*tacos

*chips

*cheese

* did I mention peanut m&m’s I love those things!

And surprisingly I don’t have the urge to eat any of these things, I guess that whole 21 day thing is true because non of these things are on my mind. :)

Jan-23-2012

Good morning!! Were in week 4! I am SO sore today. I did an hour of weight training with my dad at the gym yesterday and of course I’m feeling the after effects of it today. Its all good though that means its working. I figured I would do three days of strength along with 3 days of cardio this week and see what happens, I can’t do strength today though because I’m sore and I don’t want to tear anything so I’m going to try and run a couple miles today. I was a little discouraged today because I didn’t lose any weight last week so I feel like I have hit my plateau already , but I have to remember that it takes time and I have lost 10 pounds already so that’s better than nothing. Since I don’t think I’ll hit my goal of 173 by February, I’m just going to try to be at least 168 by the end of February. that’s like 7 pounds in a month and hopefully I can do it. The easy thing about it is, is even though I’m not at at least 174 I still don’t want to eat bad things or give up. I understand I have to wait, and its already almost been a month so I know I can do it, I just have to keep it up. I WILL NOT GIVE UP.Well good luck today everyone. :)